08-28-2026, 08:49 AM
Chapter XVII. The Saint, in Conclusion, Applies All That Has Been Said of the Souls in Purgatory to What She Feels and Experiences in Her Own Mind.
That which I have thus described as going on within the souls who are actually in purgatory, I have experienced in my own soul, especially during the last two years; and each day I see and feel it more clearly. I perceive my soul in the midst of my body as in a purgatory, conformed and like to the true purgatory, in measure, however, that the body may be able to endure it and not die; yet the pain goes on increasing gradually until death. I see the soul estranged to all things, even spiritual, which can give it nourishment — as joy, delight, consolation; and it has no power of tasting anything temporal or spiritual by will, by understanding, by memory, so that I can say, "This thing pleases me more than that other."
My soul is, as it were, besieged in such a manner that all spiritual or bodily refreshments are gradually cut off; and when they have been cut off, the soul, although it knows well how it could have been fed and comforted by them, looks on them with feelings of hatred and abhorrence, and rejects them all without repairing its loss. This happens because there exists within the soul an impulse to get rid of every hindrance to its perfection; and that, too, with such severity to itself, that it would almost suffer itself to be cast into hell to reach this end: and so it goes on, removing everything which might feed the inward man, and besieges itself so straitly, that not even the least particle of imperfection can pass without being spied out, and rejected with abhorrence.
My body, too, since it can no longer communicate with the soul, is in like manner besieged, and unable to obtain anything to refresh its human nature; there is no comfort for it but God, Who does all He does to satisfy His justice lovingly and with great mercy. When I see this, I feel satisfaction and peace; but my sufferings are not the less, nor am I the less straitly besieged. No sufferings, however, could make me wish it otherwise than God has determined for me; I remain in my prison without a wish to come out till God has done all that I need. My happiness is that God should be satisfied; and the greatest pain I could endure would be being excluded from His ordinance, for I see how just and merciful it is.
I am sensible of all these things I have described as it were by sight and touch, but I cannot find fitting words to express myself as I could wish. I have said what I have, because I was conscious of its going on spiritually within me. The prison in which I fancy myself shut up is the world; the chain by which I am held is the body; the soul enlightened is she who, knowing well the grievousness of being detained and kept back by any hindrance from reaching her end, suffers thereby great pain, inasmuch as she is very tender. God, by His grace, bestows upon her a dignity which makes her like God, and not only like God, but even one with Him through participating in His goodness; and as it is impossible that God should suffer pain, so it is with the souls that approach Him; and the nearer they approach Him, the more they share in that which belongs to Him.
The hindrance, then, that the soul meets with, causes it to feel an intolerable pain; and the pain, together with the hindrance, obstruct those properties which it has by nature and which by grace are revealed to it; and not being able to attain them, although capable of them, the soul remains in suffering great in proportion to its appreciation of God. This appreciation of God grows with its knowledge of God; and its knowledge is greater the more it is free from sin: and the delay becomes more and more terrible, because the soul wholly immersed in God, knows Him without error, there being nothing in the way to prevent such knowledge. The man who would sooner die than offend God, feels death and the pain of dying; but the sight of God supplies him with a zeal which makes him think more of the Divine honour than bodily death.
In like manner, a soul knowing what God has appointed for it thinks more of the appointment than any outward or inward pain, no matter how dreadful; and this because God, the Author of it, surpasses everything that can be thought of or imagined. The participation of Himself that God grants the soul, however slight it be, keeps it so wholly taken up with His Majesty that it can think of nothing else; everything to do with self passes away — it neither sees, speaks, nor knows loss or pain of its own; but all this, as has been already clearly said, it perceives at the instant of passing from this life. Finally, in conclusion, I mean that God, who is good and great, destroys all which is of man, and purgatory purifies it.
That which I have thus described as going on within the souls who are actually in purgatory, I have experienced in my own soul, especially during the last two years; and each day I see and feel it more clearly. I perceive my soul in the midst of my body as in a purgatory, conformed and like to the true purgatory, in measure, however, that the body may be able to endure it and not die; yet the pain goes on increasing gradually until death. I see the soul estranged to all things, even spiritual, which can give it nourishment — as joy, delight, consolation; and it has no power of tasting anything temporal or spiritual by will, by understanding, by memory, so that I can say, "This thing pleases me more than that other."
My soul is, as it were, besieged in such a manner that all spiritual or bodily refreshments are gradually cut off; and when they have been cut off, the soul, although it knows well how it could have been fed and comforted by them, looks on them with feelings of hatred and abhorrence, and rejects them all without repairing its loss. This happens because there exists within the soul an impulse to get rid of every hindrance to its perfection; and that, too, with such severity to itself, that it would almost suffer itself to be cast into hell to reach this end: and so it goes on, removing everything which might feed the inward man, and besieges itself so straitly, that not even the least particle of imperfection can pass without being spied out, and rejected with abhorrence.
My body, too, since it can no longer communicate with the soul, is in like manner besieged, and unable to obtain anything to refresh its human nature; there is no comfort for it but God, Who does all He does to satisfy His justice lovingly and with great mercy. When I see this, I feel satisfaction and peace; but my sufferings are not the less, nor am I the less straitly besieged. No sufferings, however, could make me wish it otherwise than God has determined for me; I remain in my prison without a wish to come out till God has done all that I need. My happiness is that God should be satisfied; and the greatest pain I could endure would be being excluded from His ordinance, for I see how just and merciful it is.
I am sensible of all these things I have described as it were by sight and touch, but I cannot find fitting words to express myself as I could wish. I have said what I have, because I was conscious of its going on spiritually within me. The prison in which I fancy myself shut up is the world; the chain by which I am held is the body; the soul enlightened is she who, knowing well the grievousness of being detained and kept back by any hindrance from reaching her end, suffers thereby great pain, inasmuch as she is very tender. God, by His grace, bestows upon her a dignity which makes her like God, and not only like God, but even one with Him through participating in His goodness; and as it is impossible that God should suffer pain, so it is with the souls that approach Him; and the nearer they approach Him, the more they share in that which belongs to Him.
The hindrance, then, that the soul meets with, causes it to feel an intolerable pain; and the pain, together with the hindrance, obstruct those properties which it has by nature and which by grace are revealed to it; and not being able to attain them, although capable of them, the soul remains in suffering great in proportion to its appreciation of God. This appreciation of God grows with its knowledge of God; and its knowledge is greater the more it is free from sin: and the delay becomes more and more terrible, because the soul wholly immersed in God, knows Him without error, there being nothing in the way to prevent such knowledge. The man who would sooner die than offend God, feels death and the pain of dying; but the sight of God supplies him with a zeal which makes him think more of the Divine honour than bodily death.
In like manner, a soul knowing what God has appointed for it thinks more of the appointment than any outward or inward pain, no matter how dreadful; and this because God, the Author of it, surpasses everything that can be thought of or imagined. The participation of Himself that God grants the soul, however slight it be, keeps it so wholly taken up with His Majesty that it can think of nothing else; everything to do with self passes away — it neither sees, speaks, nor knows loss or pain of its own; but all this, as has been already clearly said, it perceives at the instant of passing from this life. Finally, in conclusion, I mean that God, who is good and great, destroys all which is of man, and purgatory purifies it.
"So let us be confident, let us not be unprepared, let us not be outflanked, let us be wise, vigilant, fighting against those who are trying to tear the faith out of our souls and morality out of our hearts, so that we may remain Catholics, remain united to the Blessed Virgin Mary, remain united to the Roman Catholic Church, remain faithful children of the Church."- Abp. Lefebvre